Christina Ann Joanna [Barrett]

Monday, September 16, 2024

Dream

So, it came... An ugly or whatever Asian boy did something opening the trunk and was coming the back of the car. My mom was driving. She kept locking the front door and it didn't work. The back door locked. I think I got out and ran and fought him off using our arms. His teeth seemed like maybe there was saliva on them you couldn't see bubbles or slime or anything from. Is he Asian American? Anyway. It was like a road you might see on TV, disheveled grass, a gray maybe sorta uneven road but mostly flat or curved. The car was old, like the one from my Gramma I used for piano when I wanted to take ballet in a city where there was none but far away in the city where maybe we should have found transportation? I don't remember what happened. There was something like college and food involved and I was tired in a car and gonna use my cell phone to transfer money to eat. I remember then I guess it was like a banquet with all kinds of people I knew, like my family and saw my dad maybe across the table somewhere, a stereotype of a nurse in the nursing home... It wasn't a very long table. It had a white tablecloth. So, I felt like Andre Rieu was holding me like a toddler to his chest, but it looked like I was sitting next to him. I just moved in a little closer, like from 2 feet or 1 1/2 feet away to a little less. He seemed a lot bigger and more taller, sitting down, in a lot of ways. So, it was that before I was scared I was gonna die from that boy, technically. Now, it was that I felt scared of the party. So, I got to be close to him.

Growing Bigger

Women born around the early 1950s were mad telling us we can't grow past the age of like 11.

Ever seen German-American children lately? They look like they are 5 and the size of 7 at age 10. Imagine, light/white blond spiky hair and rather bright blue eyes.

Those women want all the praise for making it as model women. They want the girls who are chunky for some reason to sit on their laps...

Being Big

Do you think Andre Rieu got bigger to be more attractive?

An obese boy around my age maybe in the nursing home was looking at me like I was okay. I acted embarrassed I seemed to be using my weigh to look attractive and through the air pointed out the indents in his eyes, which many have, etc. I know with females, that means you ate. You shouldn't have to exercise to be skinnier than some people are. I still do. I try to eat more and somewhat considerably healthy.

I was cute and thin growing up. I'm trying to get big as I get older, but along the way I'm still not super huge. My torso for dance is like the largest size sometimes I think as of years ago, and usually it wasn't. My feet grew, too.

🍦

Nursing Home Supper Dessert

🍖🥔🥕☕️

Nursing Home Supper

🍋

Lemonade in Nursing Home

Pennyslvania?

I overheard people working in the nursing home saying people like me with ancestry in Pennsylvania, like, shouldn't be allowed to have tasty macaroni with that "sauce" and acted like I should be dead or "wiped off the face of the earth" or something.

🥪🥪🍜🍉🍈☕️

Nursing Home Lunch

🌙

I think I was woken up too much so nap.

🍌

Nursing Home Breakfast

🍞

Nursing Home Breakfast

🍓

Nursing Home Breakfast

🥞🍖🍊☕️

Nursing Home Breakfast

"Old Ways"

You can't rely on brilliant new social media or features.

What It's About

It's not about spending money and "making babies." It's about working and getting to a casting agency and "making it big."

Desolate

There's not much society nor culture out there, and no one "minds their own business."

"My Take"

I feel I was abused for unfairly gaining weight, relaxing some.

Question

Do any of these girls look good?

Casting Agency - Cleveland

Link

"In 'French'"

Why is everyone "all out there" in French? I'm a simple girl in German who says, "Hallo!" "How are you?" I don't claim to know all this French. I expect an answer back. Simple as that.

Good Morning 🌤

Music

This is the music I listened to, yesterday. I'm still on the last one.

September 7, 2024 - National Youth Orchestra of Germany and World Youth Choir - by Dusseldorf (Bonn) - Northwestern Germany - I saw the conductor jump a lot, at the end, and he's Asian and looks very Asian. I'm even listening to the applause.

Singapore

March 2021 - Spanish violinist (age 18) - North German Radio Symphony Orchestra (NDR Elbphilharmonie Orchestra)

Sunday, September 15, 2024

🥧

Nursing Hime Supper Dessert

🍗🍗🍗🍗🍯🥖🍝🫛☕️

Nursing Home Supper

Exercise

This is 10:36 minutes long.

"My Life"

So, like before, for instance displayed and active in form in Orlando, I don't have to talk to other people my age bothering me, and Cleveland doesn't need to whip by with its fake facade like it's gonna stay as more attractive.

Weight

Why do big, fat people take their size out on me?

🍰

Nursing Home

Mixed Race Is Unfair

So, Pierre Rieu gets it as a "mixed race" and not me, but it's not fair and it's not because I did anything wrong.

Andre Rieu...

What is Andre Rieu saying now in his point that before I was welcome with open arms, but now I caught 1 message so far that says I shouldn't say anything because I'm not a Baby Boomer or attractive Generation XY or not a nice/smart Generation XY. He says, like if I post something online, it says I'm good at writing but not a sexual person. That's not true, or else I wouldn't know all this. I had a desire. Others expressed zero desire.

"Positive Affirmation"

Florida says I can follow my dreams.

New Orleans says I should be complimented.

Andre Rieu

This is Andre Rieu's concert maybe from last night.

It's 1:04:28 long.

Up North...

I'm glad I moved Up North for the spirit of the weather, but I'm not impressed. I'm not for things like maybe it's about how you think in this way like it's so "fascinating" and something disgusting to reveal in, like a horny fingernail or toenail on a girl today or "young adult."

Facebook

Link

Hollywood 'Through the Years"

Hollywood seems to have went backwards. They stopped when Tim Burton got a simple Italian set designer, for Sweeney Todd. They are going back to dig in the dirt. You know, like those ghost stories?

"Up North?"

People in Cleveland may have a lot of thoughts, but they act like they have to be "all that." I think they are just jealous of normal places like Florida that they may call "modern" because they themselves are "backwards" in certain ways.