Pierre and Anti-Racism for Others

Why is Pierre so obsessed with WWI and WWII if they're over?  He's suggesting it as intelligent to say Germans etc. are mean because of the past, but many aren't Nazis!!!  They're all racist, anyway.  He doesn't want to discuss racism with me.  Pretty much, they think he doesn't act European, but I agree he is that way on purpose.  I think he wants to be both ways, but he's not especially less European in his desires compared to other people of any race.  People who "feel" they are all White react a certain way out of being less "good."  You can get over that part.  I don't know what he thinks, like most brainwashed minority concerns.

Being White or Joni

Why should I let you slide by in every way if you're white if you're not as attractive as Joni?

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That Kamala

She's just like the new generation of kids. Hmph! She's having families of slave owners pay, maybe like in taxes, to support I think he lives of descendants of enslaved peoples "imported" from Africa, long ago, to this country, the United States of America! She finds something smart and brings forward the final statement which seems two times as a big as anything ever possible in my time as a kid. Hmph!

(So, you were supposed to notice she is the age to be the parents of younger kids, like Obama was. At least, she's as good as his generation was! )

Race Based on Migration Patterns and the Sun and Snow...

Well, I may not be as White as African Americans because they were in cold climate longer.

I think Caucasians are just bouncing back and forth between France and Germany/Scandinavia.

Racism Against Me

People think I succumbed to their racism, and besides no one cares.

Anger

I saw a video of someone with Andre Rieu acting threateningly.  He "said" I didn't apologize for something "big."  It's none of his business snooping especially.  He's an accident.  I can say whatever I want to say.  I didn't hurt anyone.  I guess people have to be more careful how they act and talk.  So what, they're really racist on purpose all the time.  They're judgmental, as well, or used to be.

Something Happening in "Life"

Dear Journal, so, now, I know Andre Rieu is mad and protecting his son from me, who is maybe 3 years older, his youngest son, because of a sentence that stood out on the page I said.  I had been defending him and caring about him and "taking" him.  So, he's been rather antisocial and even frustratingly or hidden-ly or racially snide with me.  I guess that's okay.  So, I said he's not as good as others, I think, because of his race and added three periods at the end.  In the context of me defending him, it makes sense, but I guess they just look at this one sentence.

Anyway, people are mean to me and make excuses.  So, people aren't wondering anything beyond this one sentence, now, like what I meant or how I am usually.  He must be sensitive to the race itself and not feel like an individual with part of that race.  That's understandable as I'm used to my mom being totally of another race and being disconnected, and Jewish people have more in common, at least racially, with Europeans.  In fact, they may be technically the same "race" and need to stop whining to me, in the way that they do.  I have the right to be as white, and Jews overall, many, don't understand that.

Anyway, I also don't think Asians are better and never thought Jewish people were bad, of course, but who does?  I'm pretty mad the people, I know, in the nursing home are "getting away with it," making fun of Pierre Rieu and Jewish people in secret message, I can tell what they say by listening to their distant voices, unfortunately, where I can't "make out" the words and the constant coughs of a man here etc., somewhere outside my door.  It was blatant and obvious in message, and I feel blamed for not reading the context of the sentence and the three dots at the end indicating I didn't explain it in full.  I guess I forgot I did that.  It's another big mistake.  I was fed up with him, honestly, acting so quiet and like ha ha I sit with my father are you embarrassed... feeling bad and not doped out in fun.  No one was being nice with me and talking much, so.  I wasn't first.  They were being mean to me.  I thought it was funny to make them feel shocked.  I didn't mean anything much against him.  It just stands out.  Many people are mean and don't make sense.

Blacks vs. Whites

I decided I am nicer to Blacks when both Whites and Blacks are around because I think when I was like 7 years old I decided deep down I would never be mean to someone who is not treated that they are White.

However, around Whites I am more polite.

Conundrum, Comments, Critiques

I told a lady at the desk downstairs I was gonna go to a White person who works here and say what are you doing to the Black people working here, they seem to be in a bad mood and the older African American ladies are here today and really hurt me with the noises and it's just that I'm sensitive to noises and they didn't break any rules or anything.  She really wanted to know who it was, said to ask my nurse to see a supervisor and asked who my nurse was, and said it was my home and I should be happy here.  She was shorter than me, bleached hair, light bright blue eyes, a little more obese than me, and probably German American.  I fixed myself up for her but looked hurt.  I felt closed up being from Orlando, though could communicate, still.  I relayed I was just "different" but "special," an old German American sentiment at least popular around 2005, sometime.

Racism...

Do you think White people want Black people?  Black people are being mean to me for White people, even especially older women in the nursing home maybe, who work here.

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I guess I'll just drop, again.  Not so much so literally.

Well, I don't know what's wrong with getting "Italian" on your genealogy because it seems some of it came to Europe some time less ago.  I kept thinking it was worse than being non-European.  I heard it was from other countries, which is interesting to the nature of it.  I know Italy is mixed with German, like other countries.  People think it's something they have that is better in European.

I think I am weary and will go to bed, too.

I'm sure others are not fessing up and are ransacking around.  I don't think all Italians are just bad people.  They may be part Middle Eastern but don't have the culture, like Americans.

I do like Italian, though.  I just don't think I impose on others, in any way.  I also "mind my own business."

The attractive Italians can seem so wrapped up in their culture like the very Asian Japanese.

I'm getting sore, good night.  It might be time, anyway.

"It would be a pleasure." "Grace me with your presence."

What do you think Andre Rieu could do for other people who get claimed to be "European" and me not?

Why do people need Andre Rieu, in particular though, if they're all "all that?"  That wouldn't mean you'd argue that would mean in Europe I'd pop up as a need.

You might say hey look Andre Rieu did a lot for Christina and it was at great "expense" though.  He gets sexual gratification out of giving pleasure to and loving young European girls, like everyone believes I'm the problem like I'm a witch, as well as not European in the end mixed anyway while White all along.

So, my question is that we're all still alive and not blind mostly etc. nor too fat to ever have a life like a clinical case, for example, etc. etc., nor dying soon from a disease.  So, technically, we're all able to "win" as a "package deal."

My dad wanted someone pretty so dated Asians through the mail.  Otherwise, someone else would win.  So, what do you do, now?

I guess you could "fart" along and say at least it's convenient when he comes across some other girl who's all European that it's easy to get pleasure out of giving to them.  I guess I was right that it's easy to affect a younger person and make them feel love and pleasure and sex etc., too!  Anyway, I already said I think, like ... well, I should be seen as coming with a group of other girls, anyway-  So, it's pointless to sit there and come up with a bunch of, like, riddles as to if it would be more pleasant to be with one younger girl longer than another, alone, but to infinity or absoluteness.  Do you "just do that" to anyone?  What would it mean to consider it, "to a degree" and for certain reasons?  I think it's a bigger problem.  It's something the whole world is dealing with, the problem of their youth and blaming people who are "better."  So, it's a part of life.  It's something to look forward to debating over.

Inheriting Racial "Genetic Makeup"

How do you feel about how it's supposedly about your ancestors, but then it's about starting new with a baby?

Incident

I ran into a guy who looks a bit Asiatic, maybe some kinda Southern European or Middle Eastern but intelligent like an Asian, somehow Asiatic.

He could tell what I was thinking before, having fun thinking about Andre Rieu and his girls, his "musicians," etc.

I saw him in his office and could tell he thought that there would be no more me seeming impressive, like saying he's been "building" himself being Asiatic to be as impressive as he is.

I thought of the supposed young men from Italy involved with the monitoring me in private.  It seems as though people of less popular ethnicities or even races see me as one of them, "all in all," and that I'm an opportunity to total believing, however, that gives every single one of them the only one who has everything I've tried to accomplish in how I feel and think as a person and therefore who could have become interested in me.